Running up against the edges

There are many moments in the Uniting Church’s sexuality debate that I remember with real clarity. Some I remember with humility and deep joy as I found myself pushed out of my old comfort zones, and others I remember with shame as I watched faithful followers of Jesus insulted and treated like crap.

There is one moment I remember as if it was few moments ago. I can still see the colour and tones, the voices and the people. It was in Melbourne. The Assembly was immersed in the debate about sexuality and leadership. The Congress leadership was deeply concerned that its voice was not being heard, and spoke of the need to respect the covenant that existed between Congress and the rest of the Church. They asked the Assembly not to do anything against the wishes of Congress members.

Somewhere in that ongoing debate I suggested that the primary covenant at stake was baptism and what it meant for membership and ministry. Any other covenant had to be shaped by that one.

It’s the next bit I remember so well. As we stood around at lunch time my Congress friends really gave me a hard time. They told me I understood almost nothing, and needed to go with the old people and be taught again about covenant. That was a painful time, a time of running up against the edges of my faith and commitments. I thought I had already worked out what baptism meant, but needed to learn some more.

I confess that I feel like I am in the same spot at the moment around the issue of marriage and gay and lesbian people. I feel like I am in a very uncomfortable, abrasive place. I keep thinking the issue is simple: marriage is by definition about a man and a woman. And yet I know that I have friends who are the equivalent of the ‘old people,’ who want to teach me something else about marriage and definitions. I keep feeling that I need to rub up against the edges of where I sit. I keep wondering why I sit where I do, and why on this issue I am in an odd place. Why are my edges where they are? I feel like I am betraying friends, and wonder why on this issue that is a risk. Why are some voices so hard to hear on this issue; why is tradition so strong?

Anyone else know?